And so it begins again. As I start to talk about publicity for my first book, On the Marshes, which is due to be published in April, then I go back to the nerve wracking beginning of the whole thing and send a synopsis and three chapters of my new book to my agent. Asking that thing that I think, I hope, all writers ask. Is it any good?
Does any writer know if what they’re writing is any good before someone else tells them so? I know if the writing is going well, if it’s flowing, if I’m locked into it and enjoying it, if I want to keep writing it but, is it any good? That I find hard to judge alone.
So I send it out to friends and they tell me they really like it but still I don’t know if that’s enough. I kind of need that outside thumbs up from someone who I don’t feel is obliged to say it. I need someone in the writing world who reads a lot of this stuff to tell me.
External validation? probably. Deep seated insecurity? most likely but even the fact that I send it out at all says something. So many writers hide their writing away. Thinking they’re not good enough, unable to stand up under the eye of criticism. Never try and you never fail.
So sending it out at all also says something about me, something at the core of me, some deep seated self belief that writing is what I’m meant to do and it is what I would do even if I were alone in the world and no one ever told me if I was any good.